Zeemer

AZEEM, what are we going to do without you?
You will be missed, your smile, your rolling of the eyes and I know exactly what you mean (and vice versa) and your "Erica, I'm busy!" never got old.  You were one of kind, with a heart of gold.  RIP, friend.

disclaimer* When I am upset, I write.  I am upset.  Therefore, I will write.  And it will be sad.
Friday afternoon I sent this fine gentleman home early from work.  I was charge nurse at the time.  He told me he would take the final patient back, and then he would go.  I said, ok, and sent him on his way.  Little did I or anyone that day know that Azeem wasn't feeling good.  We now know that he had been complaining to his wife of left arm pain and back pain over the phone.  He never said a word to us though.

When he got home, he just thought he pulled a muscle.  After all he is our transporter in Endoscopy.  Nothing a little Bengay couldn't fix.  He put some on, and went to bed.

He awoke in the middle of the night with severe shortness of breath.  They called 911.  Once in the ambulance, he had a code blue.  Got to the hospital, the one we work at, got him on the table in the cath lab, he coded again.  They found 100% occlusion of the LAD, the main artery in the heart.  Azeem was then moved into our ICU, where he coded twice more.

Cue me coming in on Monday, I am the last one to clock in.  I already have a heavy heart... the news of the Boston bombing, the flooding in IL ruining so many people's homes, the fact that a friend of a friend is battling metastatic breast cancer at the age of 28, another friends mother in law with a abrupt diagnoses of leukemia and currently on a ventilator, and the unexpected death of my Uncle Richard Friday morning... things were just not right with the last 7 days of life.  As I go to ask who needs a break like I do every morning.... Carol and Sabrina pull me aside and tell me about Azeem with all the above information... I was ok and hopeful, until they told me that his ejection fraction (the volume your heart pumps out) was 3%.  A normal ejection fraction is 50-65%.  His body was barely pushing blood around.  I knew right then and there, he would not make it.  I was officially deflated.  I had not cried about anything up until that point... and there you have it... the waterfall of tears started flowing.  I was also told that Azeem was having high seizure activity.  If he did pull thru for some reason, he was already brain dead.

I debated with myself all day if I should go and see him.  As a nurse, you find yourself quite detached most of the time, but I knew I wouldn't be in this situation.  By the end of the day, I went down and sat next to his bed.  I held his tremoring hand, I wiped a tear that was forming in his eye with a tissue.  I held it together, and told him, to do what he had to do... to just be comfortable, I assured him his wife and his children would be alright.  Jokingly, I told him that I had no idea how to shut off our new department coffee machine that was delivered that Friday morning... he was the only one paying attention to the guy who was teaching us to use it.  I told him that I'd figure it out though.  He was made a DNR (do not resuscitate) prior to my visit.  The minute I walked out, I fell apart.

Tuesday, was especially rough.  We were just all waiting for the inevitable.  And at about 4 o'clock, it was over.  I went down again, and they were doing post mortem care.  Lisa, Sabrina, and I went in the back room and spoke to his wife.  The days before she was in such disbelief and denial.  Telling Azeem, "wake up, wake up... if you open your eyes and smile, I will work and you can say home."  Also saying, "without him, I do not exist, I am nothing."  After his death her feelings were much healthier... she told me, "I must be strong and learn to live in a world without Azeem."  On a side note, Azeem did everything for her and their children.  He was the sole provider in every aspect of their lives... from making doctor appointments to finances and bringing in all the money to shopping.  Azeem's wife will now have to learn all of these things.  We told her we would help her.  Azeem had just prided himself 1 month before on helping her study for her US citizenship as well as teaching her to drive... both of which she passed.  A blessing in disguise?  When they were done making Azeem look like Azeem, we went in... and sat again.  What a difference.  How rested, how calm, he looked so much better.

Today, I went in to work for a couple hours and we had a unit meeting.  Sister Laura came up and we prayed for Azeem.  As a Muslim, their belief is to be buried within 24 hours, so at the time we were praying, he was being buried.  We exchanged some stories, but my story, I couldn't pull myself together to tell.  I will tell it another day.

He has left such a huge hole in our hearts, in our department, and our hospital as a whole.  Because he was a transporter we all knew him, and if you didn't know his name, you knew of him.  He was such a blessing.  One man vs. 30 women.  Not many could handle that.  But you could always go to him and tell him whatever, cause it never went beyond his ears.  We always gave him a hard time.  And he did the same to us.  So many inside jokes, so many memories, so many friends he had.

Even after typing this, I still can not believe I am talking about my friend, Azeem.  It's hard to comprehend the fact that he won't be there anymore.  It's hard to see the others cry over him, when you just finished and fixed your make up.  His wife and his 3 children are on our minds, always.  It just plain sucks.

Life is so damn precious.

A Ruby Anniversary

And so here they are, the couple who wed April 14, 1973.  My parents.

It started out with these two... "we should probably do something fancy for their anniversary!"  And a PARTY was born.  My sister and I usually do not pass by the chance to throw a party.  We knew that if we told our parents that we wanted to throw one they'd say..."are you CRAZY?"  So from that a SURPRISE PARTY was born.  After researching a few restaurants we settled on Niko's Lodge.  Our next issue, how do we get them there?  We knew if we told them we wanted to take them out to dinner, they would say..."Well, why are we going alllll the wayyyy to Algonquin?" or "That's too far!!!" or "Can't we just go to Outback?" or most annoyingly..."NO, we don't want to go out to dinner!"  And so, lucky for us, my brother in law Mike was celebrating an April 9th birthday, and Camille would pretend to throw him a surprise party sending them a fake invitation.  They actually RSVP'd to their own party.  Ha, we are brilliant.

Our plan hatched and came to life.

Their guests were told to be there at 4, while Mike's pretend party was to start at 5.

Our biggest concern was that my parents would arrive extra early as they are notorious for this.

So Adam had strict instruction to STALL if needed.  Turned out all their guests arrived on time.  And Adam was receiving texts... "get here ASAP!"

Mike however is notorious for arriving late to everything.  And so my parents followed suit, and showed up late to his party.  We have the proof above.

 Once they made it... we think they were surprised.  They even cried.

Even this guy showed up... all the way from Colorado.  He arrived the day before, so Adam, Jeff, and I were able to spend some extra time with him.  (We went to Texas de Brazil, the first time experience for my brothers... but alas that is another story...)

And to top it off, Mike got a present out of the whole thing.

pretty little weddin' cake

Family Pictures

Another surprise for Pop and Mom was this video sent from their friends Mick and Chris who live in Wyoming, and could not be there.  Mick sent the video to me earlier in the week and I watched it so much that I memorized it before the actual party took place.  It was a big hit and so very special to receive a toast from the "western connection!"  

party!

After the toast, the TV was promptly returned to the Masters.  A group of golfers, at an anniversary party, on Master's weekend... this was the least we could do.  

Wedding Party
Best Man, Groom, Bride, Maid of Honor

al&barb and all their children

Special thanks:
to Pam, for helping me break in and enter my parents house with out them knowing I was snooping everywhere to find their wedding album which we now find out, they don't know where it is...
to Simon, for following me around the house, but not making a peep about it.
to Mick and Chris, for the video that will remain a special memory forever.
to Holly & Uncle Bill, for all the pictures you both took
to Niko's Lodge, especially our servers who kept up with us, Deanna and Sue
to HyVee, for their tasty tasty cake

And mostly, to all my mom and dad's family and their friends who were just as excited as we were to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. 

Cheers to Big Al and the girl with the white Go Go boots!

Message #4

Message #4

This goes out to my biker best friend, ANDREA!!!  

Happy 30th Birthday!!!

Go Cray Cray!!!

Naureen's Bridal Shower

This past Sunday, my work peeps and I celebrated Naureen... who is getting married in 2 weeks!  They made her wear a dorky veil with flowers, but she was a great sport.  There was so much food, and it was a great time.  Everyone pulled out their best vegetarian dishes for the bride.  And I even found a new vegetable that I really liked...jicama.  Never heard of it in my whole life, but I intend on finding it.  

I was most excited about the Henna.  In Muslim culture, henna is placed on the body for good luck.  I need all the luck I can get and so here I am getting squiggles and dots and more squiggles.  My boss, placed this henna on my hand.  Everyone got inked.  The worst part was waiting 1 hour for it to dry, and because I am so smart, I did it on my dominant hand.

This is Naureen opening up my gift.  Which really didn't involve any opening.  It was dinner for 2 in a basket.  I was quite proud of my gift.

We wish you all the best Naureen on your wedding day and always...

Endoscopy

Now It's Time to Say Goodbye

A dream is a wish your heart makes... was Annette Funicello's motto.  I know, because I read her autobiography in 7th grade and did a full report on her.  While standing in front of the class explaining away this brilliant woman, no one knew who I was talking about.  Annette was a long way away from Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears who were current mouseketeers at the time.  Because I loved the show so much, and Disney had been such an underlying influence in my childhood... I loved watching the original Mickey Mouse Club on late night Disney, where I first discovered "Annette."  

(Yes, there was a late night Disney.)

While I wasn't born in the time she was a teenage heart throb.  I still loved her.  She was beautiful... no wonder the boys fawned over her.  She was every boy's teenage crush, and every girl wanted to be like her. She was the first Disney star to bare her "mid-drift," with permission from Mr. Walt Disney of course.  She was what some like to call "America's Sweetheart."  She was an original... MOUSEKETEER!

After more than a 20 year struggle with multiple sclerosis... she passed away on Monday, leaving her fans heartbroken.  I hope that she has complete comfort now, as her life has been full of many uncomfortable moments.  I, as most, I am sure will remember those dark eyes, and dark curly hair, and the way she just stared down the camera with a smile and gave her name, "ANNETTE!"

Strip of Dirt

before

                                                             

after

So, we have this strip of land in our backyard... it's a strip of land that has been run down and worn out from our dogs running it's length with Luigi, the next door neighbor dog.  It's a strip of land that we despise because every time Luigi is out there, our dogs go nuts.  They run and run, and come in with the mud everywhere.  I couldn't take it anymore.  And after Lucas's hair cut the other day, he was up to his ears in mud.  As I dragged him into the house to re-bathe him, I looked at Adam, and said "call someone, now."

So we hired someone, and our strip of dirt is now a strip of rocks.  We will see how this goes...   

Easter

Easter Weekend was quite relaxing.  Adam and I had dual dentist appointments... no cavities, thank you very much.  We found some time to relax with our books and some java action.  I'm still 5, and made a big deal about coloring eggs.  You know they have 12 colors in the Paas box now!?  The weather warmed up which allowed Adam to head to the driving range.  I came up with an excuse to use my new teeny cupcake holder that I just purchased on clearance, and made cupcakes for the family.  Easter Sunday we went to church, and then to Aunt Emilie and Uncle Bill's for dinner.  Of course, Aunt Em out did herself and we were stuffed of goodness.  Even Buddy, got some turkey passed down from the table.  All in all, a great weekend!

Shout it

Go on and scream it from the mountains

Go on and tell it to the masses

That He is God